I’ve always liked the Ram Dass idea that we’re all just walking each other home. I don’t take it as some complicated instruction. It reminds me that there’s something meaningful about being alongside another person, especially when life gets difficult.
Back when I was in the Navy, people would come by the shop where I played guitar, or talk to me in the barracks, and share things they were carrying. I wasn’t trained to do anything about it. I listened. And I felt genuinely honored that someone trusted me enough to tell me.
Now, as a psychologist, I’ve got quite a few more tools than I did back then. Sometimes what’s helpful is an exposure exercise or a direct conversation about a pattern someone keeps repeating. Sometimes it’s slowing down enough to understand what they’re actually trying to say.
I don’t think caring for someone means agreeing with everything they say, fixing everything that hurts, or having a perfect answer. There’s room to be present, ask good questions, and challenge each other kindly. That idea has stayed with me long before and throughout my clinical training.